It is reasonable for first time moms to get jitters after bringing home their newborn and it is also quite common. In fact, there are many things that go through a parent’s head during the first few weeks of a child’s life. Here’s a look at some of the biggest fears and information on how to combat them.
1. Am I ready for this?
You may think that you aren’t ready to take care of an infant, even after you have delivered it and have made sure it got through the first days of its life. Then it hits you that you have to care for this new thing every single day for years. This could make you freak out and become overwhelmed.
However, there’s no need to. Not only can you take it day to day, but the fact that you are worried about taking care of your child likely means that you will be able to do a good job. No one learns how to do things perfectly overnight, so give yourself some time to get your routine back on track.
2. Is my baby healthy?
It’s hard not to think of your kid as something small and delicate, even though most babies are sturdy and healthy. You might be afraid that yours is sickly or has some kind of disease if they do something a little bit strange.
To fix this, read some baby books and websites, and also consult with your doctor. What’s even better is to talk to other moms, as well as your own, so you’ll know exactly what to expect. This will allow you to know the difference between when something is really wrong with your kiddo’s health and when you’re just imagining it.
3. Will I bond with my baby?
There are some people that feel like they will never bond with their little one, mainly due to the fact that they are suffering from postpartum depression or a hormonal imbalance of some sort. This is not common however.
Almost all moms bond with their offspring within the first couple of weeks, and some do it even sooner. There’s no set time, and it will almost certainly happen, especially if you were ready and anxious to have children in the first place. Give it a little time, and if you don’t feel a connection, don’t hesitate to see a health care professional to make sure there isn’t something going on with you.
4. Am I doing this right?
There’s a moment in every parent’s life when they wonder if they are doing a good enough job raising their tot. This is something that goes along with the territory.
Just like in other instances, if you are worried about doing a good job, chances are that you will. All you can do is your best and if you make mistakes, change your behavior accordingly. As you learn more, you can be more confident about your skills, which may turn you into an even better caregiver.
5. Will my marriage change?
If you are concerned that your marriage will never be the same or that it may be ruined at the thought of having a baby, this might not be a good sign. Alternatively, it may just be something that’s stuck in your mind and it isn’t the truth.
All marriages will change after having a child, but that doesn’t mean it will be bad news. Many men fall into their fatherhood role with excitement and try even harder to become better people. To keep your mind at ease, have a plan with your partner before you deliver, so you will already have a united front on how to raise your youngster and how to make decisions. This can go a long way in keeping arguments at bay.
It’s also important to note that if your marriage was in trouble in the first place, a baby is not likely to keep you together or improve the conditions, so you need to be prepared for that. It is best to have a good partner to count on before you have a child, if that is possible for you. It can make the whole process easier and you’ll have someone that you can lean on.
6. How much should my baby cry?
Going from a quiet house to a house with a crying babe in it can be a shock to your system. You may think that your child is crying way too much or that it’s unhealthy.
To make yourself feel better, you can have your pediatrician on speed dial, but it’s better if you just do research ahead of time. Look at new motherhood sites and spend some time with other mothers you know and trust to get a feel for what’s normal and abnormal.
7. Can I keep my baby safe?
No one can blame you if you feel like you want to keep your little guy or girl as safe as possible. You may be concerned that you can’t do that. There are so many diseases and types of accidents that can happen, which can really keep you up at night.
However, most of these things are out of your hands. When you raise your kids properly and give them the tools they need to stay safe and smart, they most likely will grow into adulthood unscathed. There are always going to be illnesses and predators to worry about, but you can’t let them overtake your life. Life is for living and not worrying.
8. Will I ever get any sleep again?
With newborns hectic sleeping and eating schedule plus all the extra duties you now have to do, it probably feels like you’ll never be able to sleep again until your little bundle of joy goes to college, especially since that’s what people sometimes say.
This isn’t always the truth. When you have others that can help you, someone like your partner, your mom, or even a close friend, you will be able to catch naps sometimes. Your baby will also sleep through the night after a while, which may mean that you can also. Remember to relax and understand that things will keep changing, but you can adjust and go with the flow with these changes.
9. How will I adapt to this?
It’s also easy to think that you’ll never get used to the new arrangement in your house, which is perfectly understandable, since pretty much everything changes. Then it’s time to remember that this is what you wanted and that millions of people have done it before you. It can’t be that hard, right?
To fix this, you’ll need to delegate tasks, rest when you need to, and have a plan for most things. More importantly, you’ll have to understand that sometimes you won’t get everything done and other things won’t be important to you at all, even though you thought they would be. You will get used to it all and it will become perfectly normal, just wait and see.
10. Does my little one have everything they need?
Even though you probably had a baby shower and have a complete nursery full of things for your newborn, you might still think that you need to get them anything their hearts desire. The short answer is that you don’t.
There is a fine line between you buying children what they need and you spoiling them, so unless your baby need something specific that you don’t have, don’t worry about it. There will be plenty of time to buy them more things as they grow up and get older.
There are so many things you can choose to worry about or stress over when you become parents, but there isn’t really a need to. It will just lead to you losing sleep or stressing out too much. Instead, focus on the things that you can do and you are excelling at and keep doing those things. Babies are resilient and you will do just fine. Don’t be so hard on yourself and remember to get help anytime and every time you need it. At the same time, don’t forget to just watch the process unfold. They will only be small once, so don’t miss out on that time just because you were holding on to some irrational fears or are worried that you aren’t doing a good enough job.